The ‘Game Of Thrones’ finale season is not hitting our hearts and TV screens until next year, so that means we have a lot of time to spare and create a happy or a sad ending to the series as we desire. However, a Twitter user took it to another level and derived this insane thread of who will be the true heir to the iron throne and her style will either make you think what the hell is this, or you will just nod in laughter.
The only bitches left that can take the Iron Throne: A thread.
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
So it starts with her theory on what will happen to the mighty devil queen, Cersei .
Cersei Lannister: so technically we all know this bitch gon die. But come ON SHE DESERVES the seven kingdoms. Can you imagine being married to that fucking hobgoblin for years? A service unto itself. pic.twitter.com/BFOarYpCRP
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
She did the walk of shame and came for EVERY ONE OF THOSE BITCHES WHO THREW CABBAGE AT HER. SHE MADE THAT ONE BITCH WATCH HER DAUGHTER DIE A PAINFUL DEATH. And she supports that weird little gremlin man. A patron of the sciences. pic.twitter.com/jyKdx6l38k
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
OK! We get it, everyone loves to hate her, but we love her. Let’s just face it. Next up, this user is not a big Khaleesi fan, clearly like she explains here.
Danearys Tarpoon: ….Im not gon lie y’all she grew stale for me. We get it, you fancy colonizing desert kingdoms. How many time you gon set someone’s house on fire and stand amid the flame? What I’m supposed to do while you standing there? We don’t have all day. pic.twitter.com/so3xtVb0iO
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
Also, y’all, WE HAVE SEEN HER RULE. IT WAS WACK. IT WAS AWFUL. Damn lizards out here eating farmers children and shit. Whole kingdom formed a mini assassins league cause you so trash. And THEN you just gon fly away and leave it a mess? Ch. Keep it. pic.twitter.com/MbDfwNm6uj
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
Okay, Cersei > Khaleesi, we get it. Next up on the list is our favourite and one of the most obvious contenders for the throne, Jon Snow!
Jon Snow: this the only bitch I trust on a throne. Wig always pressed. Curls always laid. You can’t kill him- why? He’s a bad bitch. ALSO why the fuck would George R R Martin introduce a second Targaryean if the first was meant to live? Oop. pic.twitter.com/ldQb9VF3Nc
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
But since we’re here let’s talk about his GROWTH. Jon went from a lil crybaby ass hoe to the commander of the night’s watch to the next rightful heir. Does he always look like he’s about to cry? Yes. We’ll work on it. Homeboy better ride a dragon in the end or I will feel ROBBED.
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
Ouch. My heart broke when she called him a cry baby. So if not Jon Snow, wait till you read her hilarious write up for sister Sansa Stark.
Sansa Stark: …..ok hear me out. The queen of dummy bitches. Sansa has been THROUGH IT. BUT think of how long she spent in Westeros learning about the politics? She had good bitch Cersei as a mentor. And Tyrion hints often that she’ll survive them all. pic.twitter.com/aFQ0T2QOej
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
And well, her feelings for Arya are also pretty ‘stark’.
UNLESS THAT STALE ASS WAIF BITES IT TOO WHICH LEAVES…Arya Stark: sis don’t even need a queensguard she’ll cut your wiener off herself. Queen of wearing other people’s faces. (We support kinks when our faves are involved). Queen of bloodshed. Queen of stabby stab. pic.twitter.com/xRWW1gOHip
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
Okay please, this Tyrion description is so outlandish, lets just give it to this user right here. HILARIOUS!
Unless ALL THOSE BITCHES BITE IT which could mean…Tyrion: King of boobies and wine. A tiny heartthrob. Smartest nigga in all of Westeros. Will fuck your wife and then tenderly tell her she deserves better than both of you. pic.twitter.com/UXuJuXq6UN
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
And well, Bran is not even on the list for her.
Somebody also mentioned Bran Stark: the answer is no. That nigga weird. pic.twitter.com/HaIrmoBpTk
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
Okay, coming to the main point, here’s her summary of who gets to live and watch the winter coming, and who will pass out with the wind:
All in all here’s what we DO know: despite being the FIRST WOMAN on the iron throne, my good bitch Cersei probably gon die, pic.twitter.com/w2O1YExEXt
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
Danearys Tarpoon will probably be shot from the sky bc everyone expects her to win, so she gon choke first, pic.twitter.com/KXnoYZ2SuI
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
Jon Snow might have to do the stabby stan on Tarpoon if he’s the Azor Ahai or whatever the fuck. If he rules, he’ll be a good king. If he dies LOTRings style and was only meant to return so he could kill the Night King, we’ll still remember him for eating pussy like a real one. pic.twitter.com/eNY79uPNFc
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
Sansa will probably live because we don’t expect her to. Tyrion hints at it throughout the WHOLE show. She’ll most likely rule Winterfell alone. She’s had enough of these dusties. pic.twitter.com/pfdaH76XSi
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
Arya gon bite it. I feel it in my bones. It’s not safe to love anybody on this god damn show and she will get her ass chopped right the fuck up. Cause what else is she gon do when there’s no one else to stabby stab? I don’t see it for Arya. The future is grim. pic.twitter.com/w5LpIKdRBJ
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
Tyrion will live. This bitch will knock on doors death and explain why he’s not ready to go. Homeboy will negotiate his way out the afterlife. Whoever ends up on the Iron Throne(if it’s not him) will need him. pic.twitter.com/eBId0K2TQT
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
I hope Bran dies because homeboy is really, really fucking weird. The end. pic.twitter.com/PFKjyVPVlG
— Sailor J✨ (@SlaylerJ) April 14, 2018
Well, who are you rooting for? This thread was sure a great visual delight, if nothing else.