After winning our hearts with his exceptional performance in movies like ‘Haider’ and ‘Udta Punjab’, actor Shahid Kapoor is all set to spearhead the valour, bravery and courage of the Rajput community by taking on the role of Maharawal Ratan Singh, in Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s controversial film ‘Padmaavat’.
© Viacom 18 Motion Pictures
However, at times your past can come back to haunt you at a time when you least expect things to go wrong and Shahid Kapoor learnt it the hard (or should we say hilarious) way; all thanks to this Twitter user’s honest review of his decade old movie ‘Vivah’.
© Rajshri Productions
From making clichéd romantic movies to touching base with socially relevant issues, Bollywood has come a long way, and over the years, it has been responsible for giving us some of the brilliant cinematic masterpieces. However, there are certain decade-old movies, which we loved and appreciated back then, but will now look extremely ridiculous or funny if we watch them now. Those movies are mocked or disliked today because of their cliché plot, overacting of the cast, importance of ‘sanskaar’ which is at times forcefully imposed on you, and the obvious misogyny; which will now probably make your blood boil with anger or applaud those movies with slow claps.
via GIPHY
People call Alok Nath as the president of the prestigious ‘Sanskaar’ academy, let’s not forget the dean of that institution, Sooraj Barjatya. Barjatya’s movies taught us how to invade someone’s privacy in the name of family, how to make sexism sound completely cool and also gave us a free guide to learn how to do kanyadaan. It seems Alok Nath’s ultimate aim to join Bollywood was to do kanyadaan or get someone or the other married in his family. And ‘Vivah’ wasn’t any different either.
While, some of us thoroughly enjoyed the movie, let’s take some time out and enjoy this ‘Vivah Appreciation Thread’.
VIVAH APPRECIATION THREAD
I don’t know why but whenever I decide to write about a STUPID movie it turns out to be of SOORAJ BARJATYA. This time when I was thinking about a stupid movie, I looked back in my daag daar maazi. Suddenly I was reminded of VIVAH pic.twitter.com/BaWDNr8cRu
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
This movie is another sugarcoated pile of crap starring Shahid Kapoor, Amrita Rao and others The very first scene of this movie featured the great Alok Nath and now you can imagine how sanskaari this movie is gonna be when Alok Nath is in the first scene pic.twitter.com/DkwWaQXx7p
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
I bet no one really liked Mrs. Sanskaari, until the last few seconds of the movie.
The flashbacks scenes gave the basic idea that Poonam was his niece but he adopted her after her parents died. Mrs. Sanskaari hated her because she was prettier than the real daughter. Even in the flashbacks Alok Nath looked old and 60 pic.twitter.com/50YZKte9of
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
Which side are you – Team Sanskaar or Team Liam Neeson?
It is also said that Alok Nath is so sanskaari he did the kanyadaan of his own wife. If he was cast in Taken replacing Liam Neeson he would have said “I don’t know who you are I don’t know what you want but I will find you and will do your kanyadaan”
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
Some Bhagat jee came to their home to deliver some jewelry from Delhi to Madhupur. pic.twitter.com/MHYFwc75Jk
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
Amrita Rao was introduced as Poonam and as per his hobby Alok Nath started imagining Poonam’s kanyadaan pic.twitter.com/ET0cIwG8dd
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
This girl was introduced as the saanwli behen who was not getting rishtas due to her complexion. I am not gonna get in those details as that may be sensitive for feminists etc and I am a poor guy I can’t afford backlash pic.twitter.com/EcRRKmZ7Z6
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
People loved the chemistry between Amrita Rao and Shahid Kapoor, but it is only this guy who managed to truly understand their equation and his review is sure to leave you in splits.
The movie is full of sanskaari songs in shudh hindi. The overacting of this sister will make you puke and you will be thinking for long “who talks and behaves like this?” pic.twitter.com/Z0KAnwcc91
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
Bhagat ji suggested a rishta from Delhi. The son of industrialist Harishchandar ji (Anupam Kher). So I was wondering why I never get a rishta offer from Hyderabad Sukkur etc but they easily get rishta offers from other cities . pic.twitter.com/9OjMmQR5CZ
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
Shahid Kapoor was that son PREM. The favorite name of Sooraj Barjatya. I guess some pandit told him at the start of his career that PREM is a lucky name for him. pic.twitter.com/XDMcQuncPk
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
Guess ‘Shandaar’ wasn’t his worst performance.
Wanna watch the worst of Shahid Kapoor? Even Shaandar wasn’t his baddest. This is the one. I don’t know why Sooraj asks his actors to overact in every scene. Anyway Prem is also a sanskari son who fell in love with Poonam just looking at her picture. pic.twitter.com/LDsV0goIq5
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
The bhabhi started acting all chichori and teased Prem. Her overacting reminded me of Saif Ali Khan and Karishma from HUM SAATH SAATH HAIN. Families met and that jeweler Bhagat uncle was happy for no reason. pic.twitter.com/daU38Xbk6p
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
Poonam was brought in front of the family decorated like a mazaar. The couple was sent to terrace to talk and they talked about some lame useless stuff and both agreed for wedding. Alk Nath can’t live without kanyadaan so they did baat pakki rasam on the spot pic.twitter.com/JDJB6fJdjP
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
The whole tabbar came to stay at potential in laws of Prem. I don’t know if that is acceptable or something but I will definitely feel awkward doing that pic.twitter.com/J4DQI1u5Iz
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
A bro who is quite useless in the movie took prem and poonam to a picnic at a lake. Another sanskaari song came “Milan Abhi Adha Adhura Hai”. You will hate arrange marriages if you watch this movie. pic.twitter.com/gH5gFqUK2m
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
She came to meet him at the rooftop in night and we were blessed with another ajeb sa yet famous song “Mjhe Haq Hai” pic.twitter.com/NXCPK35qFh
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
When leaving for his home he almost cried. What kinda guy cries just going back to his home? Idiotic sissy pic.twitter.com/ed3BfFx3Dl
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
Mommy was angry as Alok Nath was spending a lot on his favorite hobby “Vivah” pic.twitter.com/qm1hw63WHC
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
A lot of sugarcoated shit kept on going, Prem was shown so much desperate he kept on thinking of Poonam all the time. I call it bullshit. Nobody can think of a girl all the time. Guys got a lot on their minds. Earning, roaming around, staring at walls etc. pic.twitter.com/2czp3jggGi
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
Poonam came to meet him when he came back from some business trip. pic.twitter.com/2cvO75Fw6c
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
The angry lady stopped talking to Poonam and said she won’t be participating in the marriage. Poonam was sad. Another sanskaari song came. Finally a twist came in the sugarcoated shit Barjatya was feeding. Fire broke out in their home a day before the Kanyadaan pic.twitter.com/TedcCdKKLj
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
Poonam saved the dark wali larki from fire but herself was severely burned. Was rushed to hospital. I guess she was taken to Sanjeevani hospital as Dr. Shushank was there to treat her. pic.twitter.com/U25FDUdVPn
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
You can never find a villain in Sooraj Barjatya’s crap of a movie and same is the case here. The grumpy Mrs. Alok Nath was moved by her actions of saving the girl. Prem came to the hospital and said he will marry Poonam right there. pic.twitter.com/0qEQfCLzQY
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
He filled her maang with sindoor in the burn center. The operation was successful. I don’t know why she was operated. No internal organs are damaged in 2nd degree burns. Prem took care of her at the hospital till she was discharged. pic.twitter.com/hdvg9EOAYS
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
The evil chachi became friends with her as Barjatya got no idea what are twists and turns and sad endings etc so all his movies are supposed to end happily. Finally Alok Nath did the kanyadaan. pic.twitter.com/tY9Tbihc8f
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
Prem finally got the chance to say MUJHE HAQ HAI. And the movie ended after 2 hours and 46 minutes. Sorry for wasting your time. bye pic.twitter.com/llgMkBAs2P
— Main Abdul Majid Hoon (@ComicsByMajid) 19 January 2018
Honestly, this review will make you want to go and watch the movie again, just to see if his observation is true or not.